Monday, September 26, 2005


Blade Trinity

Blade Trinity

People generally didn’t seem to like Blade Trinity that much, and I know one person that hates the Blade films a lot. Still, I think they’re pretty fun generally. I don’t know. I like sci fi action movies as long as they’re not too stupid.

The plot’s the same as the other Blade movies: the vampires have some big new plan to kill all the humans/kill Blade/take over, etc. etc. In this movie they’ve brought back Dracula (Dominic Purcell), well, actually he’s not Dracula. He’s some several thousand year old guy who was also Dracula. Shrug, it’s a stupid idea, but the character is pretty good if you ignore the Dracula connection.

Blade (Wesley Snipes) is good, I liked his action scenes, but what’s the real selling point of this movie? The Nightstalkers! Yes, Hannibal King and a bunch of other people created for the movie show up. Ryan Reynolds plays a really awesome Hannibal King. I have no idea if it’s in anyway related to the comic version, in fact I’m sort of willing to bet it isn’t. This version of King practically has ADD or something. He doesn’t stop talking or making jokes at all when he’s on screen. It honestly shouldn’t work at all, but Reynolds does it in a really good way and I, at least, really liked his character.

Jessica Biel plays Abigail Whistler (Blade’s mentor’s daughter), who in the original version of the script was Frank Drake. Biel is really hot. Yeah. Anyway, her hotness is only added to because she is a wikkid ass archer. Yeah! Um, but she plays the part well too (gee, I’m shallow).

The other Nightstalkers are stupid though (well, two of them are, one of them (the driver guy) could be okay, but he only has like three lines). You want them to get killed. Kill them! I’m so bloodthirsty.

The villains are the basic business/goth vampires, which are old news now. But in one scene there are “punk”/skater/bmx vampire kids. You know I love the goth fetish vampires that appear in everything, but fuck, a movie that features vampires in non-goth, non-business clothing would be awesome. Punk vampires! (Okay, so they’re not done very well in this movie, but the idea is great).

The actors playing the main villains do a pretty good job too. Dominic Purcell (Drake) takes a pretty stupid idea and gave a good performance. Okay yeah, it’s stupid that he adapts to the 21st century so fast, and stuff, but who cares. There’s some good fight and chase scenes with him. Parker Posey is the main modern vampire. The character has ridiculous haircuts and is sort of ridiculous anyway, but she pulled off fairly well. And hell, Reynold’s character makes fun of the haircuts.

The movie does suffer from annoying kid syndrome. Though thankfully the kid isn’t in the film that much, but still. Bleh. Thankfully I can ignore the kid because a bunch of horrible dogs become horrible, gross vampire dogs. And get killed. Hah, yes!

Onto the music. I fucking hated the soundtrack to Blade II. I got it to review when I worked for The Muse, and fuck it was so terrible (I honestly don’t remember how it sounded in the movie). Now here I really liked the soundtrack. It wasn’t just rap (as the Blade II soundtrack was), and when it was rap I thought it fit. If I heard the same tracks on an album I probably would hate them.

Speaking of music, there seems to be some pretty blatant product placement for Apple (iPods and iBooks and stuff), but I was shocked to learn (according to the commentary) that Apple didn’t give them any money. iPods and stuff are mentioned by name and used all the time.

In the commentary track both Biel and Reynolds say they’d do another Blade film or a Nightstalkers film, but since then, sadly, Reynolds has said he doesn’t want to do a Nighstalkers film. Damnit! Do one! Similarly Wesley Snipes says he doesn’t want to do another Blade film. Sigh.

But! There’s a Blade TV coming show coming out on SpikeTV next year. New actors will play the characters, and there’s talk of it being a prequel. It could be good…

Now I want to go and get all buff and learn martial arts and archery and stuff. And ride a motorbike (clearly my scooter is not cool looking enough). And I need cooler clothes. Damnit, why can’t I live in a vampire movie? They always have wikkid ass clothes in them. I’m going to have to try and find something…

I also want to read Blade and Nightstalkers comics. All the Blade comics that have come out since the first movie have apparently been terrible (Marvel: just do an action comic), and I don’t have much hope for the 90’s Blade or Nightstalkers serieses (maybe they’re good?). If only I was still in Canada I could borrow all of Rodney’s Essential Tomb of Draculas, they’d be fun.


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